Why we need to fail...

There has been for many years a growing trend in our society. If there are kids involved, the trend has been to not recognize achievement. In little league T-ball, or grade-school soccer no one keeps score (but the kids aren't stupid. They know who has the greater score). In elementary science fairs, everyone "wins" because they participated. No one project is seen as having been better than others (though the kids recognize it).

Rewards for "achievement" has been replaced by certificates of "participation". Sprout's class had a science fair. She worked on a project about electrical circuits. I got her a kit at Radio Shack, and she assembled (with very little help from Wyfster or me, and that help was hot gluing) a working circuit with a switch. She then went further by researching how a "d cell" battery works and putting that in her project as well. She then added information about different types of electrical circuits, with diagrams. Her project was, when all was said and done, quite small, but very informative, and though she did research things online, all of the data she provided was in her own words, rather than copy/pasted.

Sprout with her circuit. And a smile.

She not only put together a circuit by following instructions, but demonstrated the ability to tell others with her own words how and why it works, proving that she actually learned something.

And her recognition for this? A certificate of participation. Just like the one a classmate got for a copy/pasted diagram of a battery that he had to read in order to pass on any information. Just like a few painted styrofoam balls arranged like the planets in our solar system with copy/pasted information about each. Just like the 5 or so "create energy from citrus fruits" kits that were on display.

Sprout was disappointed, to say the least. She recognized that in the attempt to make sure slackers got the "atta boy" pats on the back, so as to not upset them by telling them they didn't win, she got the short end of the stick. Now, as proud as I am of her, hers was NOT the winning project. There was one that discussed and exemplified sublimation. There was a "brain" on display with explanations of what each section of the brain (represented by painted cauliflower) does for humans.

Compared to these, my daughter's simple circuit was, well, simple. And those kids got the same recognition as my daughter. We live in a society in which there is success and failure. But the schools and sports organizations try to ease the sting of failure by pretending that it doesn't exist. This is causing the future leaders to believe in cases where something shouldn't be permitted to fail.

We need failure to advance. The Wright brothers had several prototypes of their flyer that did not work as well as the iconic powered flying machine they had in the air at Kitty Hawk. How might things be different now, if they just gave up with the first failure? Or were told that they were great because they tried, and that's all that matters?

One of the Wright brothers' wrecked prototypes.

Maybe, as a society, we need to be able to tell our kids, when appropriate, that they failed. Not that they are failures, but they failed. Failures are the ones who fall and do not get back up, or complain that something is too hard. No one who gets up, finds the determination to keep pushing on, and keeps trying is called a failure. Even if they fail many times.

Failure is what you are called at the end. When you have given up. If you keep trying, and don't give up, you haven't reached the end, and so haven't failed.

What's wrong with teaching our kids that?